You choose

When I was 14, I decided to become a confident person.

As a younger child, I was often described as quiet. Studious, perhaps. Shy.

As I grew older, I didn’t like that about myself. I saw other people being loud, confident and assertive. I wanted to be more like them. I wanted to be unafraid of speaking up. I wanted to be noticed, to be part of things.

I watched other people. I saw how my role models behaved. I took copious mental notes.

As a young child, I lived in a very tiny village in the English countryside. When I was 14, my father took a job in Malta. We sold the family home. I started a new school. We knew no-one. It was a fresh start for us all.

This was my chance. When no-one knows who you are, you can be anyone you choose. I decided to be a confident person.

From day 1 at my new school, I acted the way I thought a confident person would behave. I’d been watching confident people for some time, so I had a good idea of what they would do in any situation.

I spoke up in class. I took the initiative and talked to other kids at my new school without waiting for them to notice me.

One day, during lunch break, I walked from the toilets to the common area to find most of my class standing in a circle. The old me – the quiet, shy, timid me – wouldn’t want to push into that circle. The new me pasted on a smile, held her head up high, strode confidently over and joined the conversation.

Both old me and new me were proud of myself.

Every day, I acted the way I thought a confident person would behave. I smiled. I spoke up. I laughed. I strode. I held my head high.

Eventually, one day, I realised I wasn’t acting any more. The old, timid me had stepped aside and the new, confident me was there, standing proudly in the middle of the hallway chatting and laughing with the other girls.

And that was how I became a confident person.

You choose. Who do you want to be?